Part-time lover, full-time love?

16/06/2008

Is it possible that one of my part-time lovers can start having romantic feelings for me? And please note that when I say ‘one of’, I am not implying I have 3439490 of them?

It’s normally easy to figure out whether someone is interested. Although, with this one (Gareth, of course), it’s a little bit  more difficult.

Part of me wants him to be madly in love with me. Another part still looks down on him for something that I feel too guilty to mention. Something he mentioned to me in confidence. And I acted as though it were not a big deal, or a deal breaker. Anyway.

The part that wants him to be madly in love with me is rather small. I value his friendship above any possibility of a relationship. It’s nice to know that there is one person in Cape Town who will try, no matter what, to help me when I’m in a pickle. I guess that’s why I was alarmed last week when Gareth said: “We should really stop doing this. Never mind that the this has been ridiculously innocent these last couple of weeks.

What followed after his monologue were some smses on Friday, culminating in mine: “Face it: you have feelings for me”. It happened after seeing the Sex and the City movie with Tracey and some of her friends. Of course we had some drinks before, and after the movie, so I feel slightly justified in sending Gareth that sms. Only just.

He denied it, still does. Argh. What’s worse is that now it looks as though I have a crush on him. Eish.

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