love/like: Between You and Victor

10/05/2008

i still like you. love is a difficult word for me. but you need to chill out with this thing. i want to be able to just say hi to you again, and hang out, without all this weight. you obviously don’t mean to put any pressure, but I feel pressurized by you. I’m sorry if i am breaking your heart: that was never the intention.

Fuck me.

Why do men always take the easy way out? It was his birthday yesterday, so I called him to sing ‘Happy Birthday’. His reaction was to say ‘Thank you, I really appreciate it’ and to end the call. Never mind that I’m still on the other side.

I honestly do not understand what went wrong, and where. But that’s just me. Perhaps I did nothing wrong; perhaps I should just move on. Swiftly. Get over him. Finish en klaar. But, I can’t. I don’t want to. I’m still in love, damn it. Despite all the months of nothingness.

I was at Mr Pickwicks tonight and remembered one of our first dates there. How we kissed that evening. I wonder if things will ever be that good again with me and Bernard. Fuck, I hope so.

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2 Responses to “love/like: Between You and Victor”

  1. Goblin Says:

    Okay so how behind am I? Where’s the post where you explain what happened with Victor 😦 I can’ts finds it!!

    That’s a crap time you’re going through though, I hope you get through it soon!

  2. callith Says:

    I haven’t really been blogging that much recently. So my posts may or may not make much sense. I’m sorry.

    Thanks, love. I’m much better now, though.

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