And his eyes went wide

13/03/2008

There’s this good friend of mine who always says the following: “I don’t believe in sex before marriage, which is why I only shag married men.”

I laughed so hard when I first saw it in her Gchat status bar, I snorted. Loudly. So hard that Warren looked at me and smiled. Of course I couldn’t tell everyone in the office just why I’m laughing.

Well, I remembered that line, and was waiting for an opportunity to use it. It took me a good couple of weeks, but I’m proud to say I finally used it.

It happened at a copy store. I had to get some stuff copied, so went there and a middle-aged man followed me inside.

I was dressed very sexily: skanky red shoes, pretty top and my loose-fitting chocolate pants. My hair was as messy as possible, and I was wearing my signature perfume.

So The Middle-Aged Man catches my roving eye. I was staring at his documents. Looked as though he’s about to file for a divorce. I didn’t want him to talk to me, but it happened. He started talking about how he will never again get married.

I gave a self-satisfied smile, and, in my best Leigh-Anne accent, I told him that, actually, I don’t believe in sex before marriage. He looked crestfallen. And then I continued – “which is why I only shag married men.”

That thought must’ve depressed him even more, or he was just too shocked to hear a seemingly good girl say something so very bizarre ( it wasn’t exactly the best timing). We chatted for a bit, and he told me about a You article in which people talk frankly about shagging married men. Hmmm. I need to read that.

So now that I have a thing for married men, will I ever be able to shag a “regular” guy?

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2 Responses to “And his eyes went wide”

  1. SoupNumber5 Says:

    “I don’t believe in sex before marriage, which is why I only shag married men.”

    Wow… That is a really good line! Love it!

  2. callith Says:

    If only I could take credit for it!

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