Twee Ingelsmanne


“Let’s call the whole thing off”.

This is almost what we did on Sunday. I was crying, snot en trane, on Sunday. He wants us to “talk”. Instead of just “calling it off”.

Fuck, Sunday was horrible. I am struggling to adjust to this new Victor. I really miss the old one who used to inundate me with thoughtful sms’s and emails, facebook messages and phone calls. Wow. The first month or so was amazing, this isn’t.

I miss him. And I’d be very happy if this does work out, but right now, I don’t have much hope. I’ve heard nothing from him this entire week. Instead the cute Afrikaans constable is irking me with his flood of sms’s. It’s getting pretty annoying.

Is this what Victor feels like? That I’m annoying? What a horrible thought. I really hope not. Anyway. I just needed to get that off my chest. No, I’m not feeling much better … not yet. I’ll only feel better once I’m home and chugging away a glass of vino. Oh, it also helps that I did some actual work today. I’m feeling slightly more confident at work.

And I wrote an article for the popular Afrikaans daily. Such a pity Richard can’t read Afrikaans… wanted him to proofread it for me. Yeah, I know, I’m silly for asking an Ingelsman!


2 Responses to “Twee Ingelsmanne”

  1. it’s always awesome in the beginning.

    that’s what turns people into serial-daters.

    they cant get enough of that first-month-feeling.

    you’ve got some thinking to do.

    is victor who you want?
    are you who victor wants?

    some honesty on both parts is necessary.
    that whole FB thing should have set alarm bells off long ago!

  2. callith Says:

    Yes, I know I need to think things through. Thing is, I thought I did. I’m still not 100% sure what it is I want.

    And I don’t think he knows, either. This makes for a tricky situation.

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