She’s got no soul

I’m gonna fucking vomit in my mouth right fucking now. It’s such a pity she isn’t even skinny, otherwise I could call her The Stick Figure With No Soul. Let’s just call her Natasha, we might as fucking well.

She and Toby are boyfriend and girlfriend. Have been since early January already, which was when Victor and I were still conducting a long distance thingy…

She kept her profile hidden from public view for a loooooong time. See, I’m a crazy stalker woman. She needed to keep her personal life hidden from me when I found out he is cheating on me with her. I went as far as to log into Toby’s Gmail account and read their gchats live. I was also able to log into (or is it onto?) his Facebook account. This is how I got her telephone number. So one day, I was at work (the one that fired me, or, rather, forced me to resign) and was having fun reading their inane little gchat convo. Well, it was fun reading it until she promised she’ll call him from work. So I did what any self-respecting girlfriend would do: I phoned her and screamed at her to fucking stop calling him. LOL.

She could be my twin sister. We look similar; I’m just prettier, of course. And skinnier. And cleverer. Although not as much as I used to be. And it pisses me off – Toby always used to complain about my weight and about my curly hair… And now she is possibly 20 kilos heavier than me (fucking massive arms…OMG) and she’s got curly kroesies. Someone pass me a bucket, please?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

So. I think what pisses me off the most is that they went to Kirstenbosch some weeks back (or is it ago?). He never wanted to go with me… And he already introduced her to his brother and cousin. That’s a fucking big deal to him. Good grief! Her status updates are enough to make one puke, especially me. She’s the fucking reason Toby called it quits. Fine, she’s the reason I called it quits. The fucking cow has 1700-odd wall messages.

Argh. The weirdest thing is that I’d love to be friends with her… I know, I’m fucked up. Totally and completely and utterly and whatnotnot. In fact, I’ve got a slight crush going on… argh. It’s a thin line between love and hate, right? Corny but true.

I’ll have to brace myself for the inevitable: seeing them together some day, holding hands and being all fucking lovey-dovey. It’s gonna happen.

Let’s hope my crush has worn off by then so that I can give her a good old klap when I meet/see her.