I fret … argh

21/01/2008

I’m not sure if this can work. Me and Victor. We had a lovely Saturday afternoon. My whole body is still sore from the sexercise we did on Saturday and Sunday.

Why do I not think it’s going to work? Well, he’s a bit of a workaholic, which is fine, but I’m worried he won’t want to do much else besides work, work, work for the next three years. He’s going to the States again in the near future, though only for a year. He’s never stayed with a girlfriend, ever.

I don’t feel like breaking him in, either. I really do not want a relationship with drama. Call me lazy, go ahead, I know you want to! What’s more, I’m sure he’s pretty gatvol of me after yesterday’s minor tiff. Fuck. I don’t know. I’m feeling fragile right now. And I have not heard anything from him today. I hope I’m over reacting.

Someone asked if we’re a couple yesterday. He said “I guess you could say so…” and I looked at him and said “says who?” jokingly. I do want him, and I know he also does. He even told me he loves me yesterday (verbally, in the thick of the fight), but when I reciprocated in an email, he said that it’s too soon to start using such strong language… WTF.

Although it’s pretty weird that it’s ok when I say it won’t work out between us. As soon as there is the slightest possibility of him saying so, I fret. Argh.

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2 Responses to “I fret … argh”

  1. globus Says:

    excellent, another blogger with a shady past. globus thinks you are in denial about victor (and also wonders if the names have been changed to protect the innocent). remember it’s always better to try and fail than never try at all. you only live once šŸ™‚

  2. callith Says:

    Denial? What ya mean, Globus?

    Yes, names have been changed to protect identities. His dad regularly googles him so…

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