Why I do this to myself


I love to write, though I find it easier to write when it is not work-related, but please let’s keep this a secret? This blog is meant to cure me of many ills, some of which would cost me R450 for a 45-minute couch stint at a shrink.

Through this blog, I can come to terms with many things, including my very shady past, even though you don’t even know (or care to know) the half of it. I’ve done things I’m ashamed of, and I’m even more ashamed to admit that I still feel very, very, tres tempted to do them again.

My grammar is not immaculate, so please bear with me. I do have a spelling fetish, and hate to misspell words. If you’re reading this blog, expecting me to have perfect grammar and hoping to find exquisite imagery, I would suggest you go elsewhere. Sowwy.

Me being pre-orgasmic, as opposed to anorgasmic as posted on Amatomu, is another big concern. I’m working like a slave towards resolution, but it might not happen anytime soon.It’s not the raison d’etre for my blog’s existence; there are other, more pressing thoughts I would like to explore when they pop into my head (or the notebook I pilfered from EB .. sorry, Victor!).

Victor is another reason why I blog. This relationship is still so … young, so … fresh, so … delightful, I really don’t want him to know just what a great, fat, brown bitch I am. But I’m sure he knows a bit. So I’d rather blog here, for all and sundry (that’ll be you, Richard!) to read.

Another reason why I do this is to benefit from the great sense of community (I was trying to think of a better word than that) I find in blogging, whether it is from Amatomu users or from WordPress users, it’s all the same to me.

Finally, I’d like to give this URL to Victor someday so that he can read everything about me in a couple of posts. Fine, I’m not that simplistic but I think it’d give him a very good idea of who I am. Of course, that will not happen tomorrow, though he begs for it daily! It might never happen, and I’m sure he’d love me still. Eeek. Love? Oy. Let’s not go there. Although he did actually write me an sms some days back saying “Ngiyakuthanda”, I remain unconvinced that he loves me already.

So, in conclusion, let me point out that I will mostly be responsible for a load of bad writing about a load of irrelevant subjects, some of which may be even more irrelevant to my very white audience. But let that not be a deterrent to Tarah! She shall be a brave trooper, only occasionally indulging in some sob-related topics and regaling you with a hard-hitting account of her (now) almost perfect life!!


2 Responses to “Why I do this to myself”

  1. Lee Doyle Says:

    Do you know what, your one of the only bloggers I read anymore and feel I am getting to know bit by bit.

    Ive always wanted a blogger to get to know and your it so far. Normally I skim through my feeds but I now have yours in a nice little folder that I always read.

    But anyway to your post.

    DONT SHOW HIM THIS BLOG!!! My blog has ruined many relationships and ruined many jobs… well lots of things and is why it is always closing down and reopening… You would think I would learn and make one without my name… But I think that’s the point.

    But yea, don’t show him… or only show him when your on your death bead or he is on his….

    My grammar is non existent so I wont even notice 😛 I only learnt to spell after leaving school so please excuse me too.

    You sound like a cool girl, yes you have a past but so does everyone… I can sort of guess some of your past and you do not have anything to worry about.. its what a lot of people do… And no one can fully even trust themselves so, live with it.

  2. callith Says:

    Hey Lee!

    Wowie. I read this en-route to Stellies and you really made my day! Merci beaucoup.

    I promise I won’t ever show him this blog…

    Well, my grammar is also not great. So you’re not alone!

    I’m very glad that someone out there can relate to my blog … or at least find it semi interesting. That means a lot to me.


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