Dear god…


As an ardent atheist, I have a hard time praying. It’s been like this for years. Ever since I discovered I won’t suffer god’s wrath if I do not pray to her at night, I have decided to spend my time in other ways instead. Like reading, for example. Or masturbating… Well, truthfully, that’s a lie.

I have, however, a confession to make: when I am really, really, really afraid of something happening, or when I really, really, really want something to happen, I pray to this invisible fairy god in the uppermost reaches of the heavens, or wherever she is. And it has to be a she…

Tonight’s prayer is that I won’t lose my job. Fuck. I’m afraid that I might walk into work tomorrow and be called into a meeting with Peter (the big boss), Nathan (my immediate superior) and our accountant. Never mind Nathan and Peter, I’m most afraid of Garth, the Account Manager… oy.

Why I am afraid? Well, I have been slacking off at work. A lot. “Don’t we all”, you ask? ha ha ha ha. True, we do, but I’m a special case.

So, god, wherever you may be, please grant me another chance. I really need this, god. I’m all alone, with no one to take care of me, and god know’s (that’ll be you, I think) I can’t become a waitress again. I said “never again” so many times, god. I hope you can hear me. Hello??

Oy, anyway. Perhaps she’s on leave, and only back tomorrow. Fuck. I kinda need a miracle by tomorrow, but yeah.

Let’s hope everything will be ok tomorrow!


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