crazy old men


Christ. I finally got out of bed… I can’t stop myself from reminiscing today. About all the men I’ve met who were just so very wrong for me. There’s one in particular that I will always wonder about … I’ve got, or rather, I had a thing for internet dating and posted an ad early December 2006 for a man to take care of me. Yes, that’s correct.

He responded by calling me and we spent half an hour on the telephone. That evening, I slept over at Toby’s place, shagged him and felt pretty damn sorry for myself. Muhannad tried to call me, but I blocked his calls. He called me the following day and we arranged to meet somewhere in Long Street for a cup of coffee. The coffee turned into lunch, which turned into dinner.

I saw him the following day again. And the day after. We had a hectic couple of days together, during which he bought me a cute little ring for R11 475. He spent well over 20k on me over a two-week period.

While I certainly liked him, I got caught up in his money. Yes, we did, strangely enough, have a lot to talk about. We both liked reading, so this was great. He wrote a paper on The Epic of Gilgamesh when he was in college!

Alas, it was not be be. He was too jealous, too short (in my opinion, though I desperately wanted to act as though I don’t mind), too different – he’s a practicing Muslim, he wanted me to change how I dress, he didn’t approve of my gay BFF.

Things came to an abrupt halt when he wanted to have sex with me without a condom. I told him no! I don’t know where he’s been, he doesn’t know where I’ve been, right? He then packed my stuff, and took me to my apartment the very next day, which was 1 January 2007. It was the worst new year’s day of my entire life. I had very little money to my name, I was without a job (I had been fired from my last job just a couple of weeks before), I couldn’t face my family, I felt as though I had absolutely no friends.

Muhannad is a very lonely man. He’s richer than god herself, but he’s sad and lonely. Now, I’m sad and lonely as I sit and type this, but that’s for entirely different reasons. I’m sad because I miss Victor and I’m lonely because I’m becoming a hermit and don’t go out anymore. Muhannad, however, has many, many, many friends. Many more than I could want to be friends with. Yet he’s still lonely. They’re all much younger and can’t relate to him at all.

At least my friends are my age and are in similar circumstances so they can relate. Oy, that sounds bad, hey?

Anyway. So I wonder if I’m just reminiscing now, or if I really do miss him. And what do I miss most about him? Is it the money? Especially now, as I’m wondering how exactly I will endure January 2008? Or do I miss the silly conversations we had, the many laughs, him cooking for me?

I’m sure I just miss the money. It was lovely not having to worry about money. It was lovely to receive R1000 to spend on my hair and my nails. ha!

oh well. That’s all gone now. We no longer speak, and I wouldn’t want to speak to him anyway. I may not have morals, but I will most certainly not put my life at risk just for some bling.


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